With every new beginning comes a list of wishes and expectations. The new year not only gives us the opportunity to start over, it also provides closure; and it doesn’t matter whether the past year has been good or bad; it is over, and we have the power to make the upcoming one better.
New Year’s resolutions are usually forgotten by the end of January but does it really matter? Setting goals for ourselves brings challenges, and who doesn’t love them?
I’ve pretty much spent 2015 figuring out who I was and what I wanted for myself. And it worked so well that I now have a very precise idea of who I want to be, and I know what it will take to get there. I want 2016 to be about that.
I am looking for a global change, not because I am that uncomfortable with myself right now, but because I am looking forward to seeing life from a different perspective. Not every of the changes that I’m going to be working forward can be listed out, but there are a few things that I know will make me endlessly happier.
The first, and maybe more important thing is that I want to take time this year. I want to learn to really appreciate every second that passes by. I want to open my eyes widely and not blink for an entire year. I want to smile at car headlights while I am walking from my house to the train station at 6:30 in the morning, on my way to college. I want to take time with my family as well. It has become so normal for me to either be on my phone or on my computer when I’m with them, and it is sad to think that I could be missing out on interesting discussions and wild laughter because of that.
The second thing that I’m really looking forward to is to organize my life. I have a long history of messy bedrooms and Sunday night homework (even though that has been working pretty well for me so far) and I would be lying if I said it didn’t stress me out. I’ve gotten better this past year, but I’m still going through phases with it, and I want to be more stable in my life. I know that this one could be easy, there are just choices I have to make for myself: clean my room instead of spending those extra five minutes on Tumblr; start my homework sooner so that I can actually watch that super cool movie that’s always on TV on Sunday night. What I really want is to be able to put my mind at peace so that I can TAKE TIME to do things other than worry about stuff I could have done sooner.
In 2016, I want to only have one word in my vocabulary: YES. I have always been really happy with having habits: I wear the same perfume every day because I feel like it is a part of my identity; I wash my hair every three days no matter the situation and I always take my shampoo and conditioner with me when I’m going somewhere because I’m scared my hair won’t handle a little change; I go to bed at 10:30 every week day and if someone asks me to do something at 10:25, I’m going to get really moody because I feel like it is going to mess everything up… I have and want to be more spontaneous. I want to embrace the unknown and make room in my life for adventure.
I have to stop making excuses for everything. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I want to be, and yet I always find myself failing because I am making excuses for myself. I am my own enemies when it comes to most of my goals and that is both reassuring and frightening. I just want to hold on to what I want and not back up each time it gets slightly difficult. And I would like to be able to do that with the only motivation of the billion wishes I made for this year.
Lastly, and that would probably be my biggest change, I would like to be more creative. I have always claimed to be that totally non-creative girl, yet I know deep down that this is not true. Just because I can’t draw and don’t really practice any activity doesn’t mean I am not creative. I have been writing down my thoughts and feelings for as long as I can remember. Those texts probably aren’t worth anything but looking back on them, I can feel just how much heart I have put in them and that is all that matters. I have also been absolutely fascinated by photography for the past ten years, and I even grew confident enough to hang some of my photographs in my room. I want to embrace that more; maybe even try new forms of self-expression or simply just accept my creative side; be at ease with it, and open up about it.
May this year be the year we become really proud of ourselves. I want us all to find ourselves tearing up on the last day of 2016 at how far we’ve come. I wish you all a very Happy New Year!